Unfold

As I sat staring at my screen, thinking of how am I going to start my very first blog; and in blogspot (after for about one year plus since I blogged my last entry in friendster), I finally knew what I wanted to blog about - "unfold". (funny me, huh)

I am now listening to one of Marie Digby's songs, titled 'Unfold', (repeating it every now and then) and well, the song is just charming. Lolz!! I started listening only like an hour ago, but I haven't actually train my ears to absorb and digest the lyrics yet. So, basically my first impression on the melody and the title gave me a different interpretation from hers (unless it's coincidental! hehe). What can you say about 'unfold'? I'm sure the first thing that came to your mind was that this term has the opposite meaning and an added un- from the word 'fold'; unless you have thought something differently from my assumption. Haha. =)

Unfold to me is like having yourself being unfold. Confused? Okay. Let me try to un-confuse you. =) What I'm trying to say here is that on the surface, you are a shy person. But if given the chance, you unfold yourself to become a very chatty and brave person.

Earlier after dinner, I was talking to someone who happened to be there to lend his pair of ears to my unstoppable chatty mouth. (I sympathise him, but not that biggie, because his ear drums are still drumming perfectly well; and neither did he complain! muahahha!) Point is, I realised, during our conversation, that I actually havent unfold myself completely to my social circle just yet. People who know me, now know me as who I am now; but it depends on how they want to view, label, think, or understand me. It all boils down to what data they want to keep in their database about me when they meet or talk to me. They might only know me on the surface, but because I have not unfold my inner or hidden character yet, they just don't know me so well.

And in relation to that, right now, I feel that I so badly want to prove to people who I am. I want them to know that I am not what they think I might be (assuming they think that Im a bad person - which I could be...muahahha!), I want them to know that I am capable of doing something when they think I cannot, or that I want them to know that I am something more than meets the eye. However, I have been unfortunate lately because when I was given the chance to unfold, I just could not do it due to unavoidable circumstances; and when I so badly wanted to show and prove the capable me, time and surrounding a.k.a 'chance' did not come knocking on my door.

So, two things here: To me, unfold is like unfolding our inner-selfs to people who only recognize us through the surface, and when we get the chance to unfold ourselves, things come our way to cripple our effort to do so. It's just so weird and funny how things have to turn out this way. Of course, sometimes time appear to us so perfect that we get lucky with what we are doing or want to do. Think about it - on what I've said earlier on unfolding yourself and whether 'chance' is playing around with you.

~cheers! =)